Blame Gaga. Straight up, some of the shorts out there right now are jean panties. STUDDED jean panties, at that. Like, studs all over the butt. Ladies, how are we doing this? Why are we doing this? I know it’s summer and we wanna get our legs out (we’re not moisturizing and exfoliating for nothing, after all), but some of us don’t want to get ALL of our legs out. Summer clothes do not need to be the start of an academic debate around where the legs technically end and the butt begins. We searched the internet and found some shorts options for those of us not interested in… whatever these are.
Neon Boyfriend Roll-up Shorts, $40.55, the Gap
These slouchy roll-up shorts come in a variety of neon and non-neon colours, but it is summer time, so let’s pretend we never read that thing about the non-neon, right?
The Furies Dhoti Short, $98.00, Urban Outfitters
These might be divisive but they have an awesome laid-back “recently been backpacking, have a whole new worldview, don’t worry about it” vibe. These could go from cottage to campfire to ‘cue (short for ‘barbecue’, get on board) with ease.
MINKPINK Virtue Crochet Leg Short, $95.00, Urban Outfitters
“Oh, me? I don’t need to give it all away. These are just my fun, yet sensible, white summer shorts! What’s that? A bunch more of my leg is peeping through this cute crochet detail along the hem?? I guess NEVER MIND about that ‘sensible’ bit.”
ASOS Geo-Print Mid-length Shorts, $61.76, asos.com
These are sooo cool. They are the kind of shorts wicked-hot ladies in the desert in fashion editorials are always wearing with a crisp white button down and a silly hat. As if you needed an excuse to buy a silly hat.
Belted Swing Shorts, $23.80, Forever21
The most versatile shorts you will ever own. Define that waist, lengthen those legs, bike around the city without flashing any unsuspecting passersby.
ASOS Revive Big Ol’ Denim Shorts, $70.58, asos.com
Very rockabilly. Very cool. Stick a silk scarf on your head, get some big sunglasses, and you’re in business. With shorts this voluminous on the bottom, you could totally get away with a cropped, tiny top. Saddle shoes optional.
So there you are. Six options to look for if you’re trying to keep your cheeks to yourself for at least May/June. And remember: you have total control over your shorts-length if you make them yourself. So grab some scissors and some worn out old jeans and horrify your mom with a DIY project! HAPPY SUMMER!!!